A Mother's Torment
by nataliexo
Summary: Isolde only wanted to protect her only child, she never realised the effect of keeping a secret from her husband. She didn't even think of the disastrous consequences that would occur.


"Mother, Mother look what I can do!"

Isolde watched as Connor sent a stream of flames towards the recently extinguished fire, her look of amusement quickly turning into a look of horror.

Oh Maker no, not her baby. He couldn't have inherited _that_, could he? Isolde was lucky enough to not have it; surely Connor would be lucky too.

No matter how hard Isolde tried to reason with herself, she couldn't deny what she just saw. Connor, her baby, had magic.

xox

"You are the apostate sent by Loghain, yes?"

Isolde surveyed the man in front of her, he looked rather uneasy under her gaze as he nodded. Guilt gnawed at the Arlessa; somewhere at the back of her mind she knew what she was doing was wrong. She knew she should tell Eamon about Connor's abilities but he would only send her baby away. Whilst she hated lying to her husband, she hated the thought of losing Connor to The Circle even more. If Connor could hide his magic then she would not have to let him go and Eamon would be none the wiser. No one would come to harm and everything would be as if Connor never had these cursed abilities.

Isolde made sure to stress the fact that these lessons were to be secret, Loghain may have sent the mage but there was something... off about him. Pushing that feeling aside, Isolde made sure to keep an eye on Connor's lessons. She had to make sure that the mage was doing what he was supposed to.

Of course, it wasn't long after that that Eamon fell ill. No one knew what ailed the Arl and no one could seem to cure him. Isolde was distraught and at a loss. The best healers from Redcliffe could not even get her husband to wake, let alone cure him. Becoming desperate Isolde did the only thing she could think of; she sent the majority of the soldiers to search for the Urn of Andraste's Ashes. Seemingly only a legend but now, now it was her only hope to bring her husband back from the brink of death.

xox

It was the screams that woke Isolde from her light sleep. Never before had she heard such screams, panicking her thoughts flew to her unprotected son and without a thought of her own safety she ran to Connor's room. Of course, the sight in front of her caused her stomach to turn. Connor sat on the floor of his room, laughing as skeletons hacked at what resembled a servant's body.

"Ah, Mother you're awake!"

Isolde's whole body shook as she heard her son's voice. There was something sinister underneath his childish tone, something evil. What in the Maker's name has the mage done to her son? What had she done to him?

xox

All was quiet in the castle, most of the inhabitants were dead and only corpses walked the hall. Isolde had been trapped in the main hall for days now, watching her baby turn into a mon- no, her baby would never be a monster. It was that cursed mage that Loghain sent, first he poisoned her husband and now he has unleashed some… some horror upon her family! Oh Maker, what had she done to deserve this?

There was some hope though, she would see glimpses of her baby, hear his voice untainted by the demonic undertone and see his innocent eyes but those moments were too short and too few. One of the few soldiers that had been spared had reported seeing Teagan in the Village, maybe he could help Connor.

xox

Isolde ran over the bridge connecting Redcliffe Castle to the Village, she had managed to persuade whatever held her son its clutches to let her go and collect Teagan. Perhaps this nightmare would end soon and would become a distant memory, yes, everything would be alright as long as they did not disobey whatever held Connor prisoner.

It did not take long for Isolde to find her brother in law, he was stood outside of the windmill with a group of heavily armed… soldiers? No… Isolde had never seen them before but if they weren't soldiers then who…?

Well, whoever they were it did not matter. Isolde kept her eyes solely on Teagan as she ran up to him, desperation in her eyes.

"Teagan! Thank the Maker you live!"

Isolde was breathless from her run but a small bud of hope had begun to blossom in her chest, Teagan was safe, he could come with her to the Castle and maybe Connor would be alright. As Isolde told Teagan that they needed to return, one of the heavily armed strangers, a woman, interrupted.

"I'm afraid we need more explanation than that, Lady Isolde."

Isolde's lip shook as worry began to poison the hope in her chest, she didn't need to waste time talking to strangers when something was happening to her baby.

"What…? Teagan, who is this… woman?"

"Where it not for her help, Isolde, I'm afraid I wouldn't have survived the night."

Isolde's eyes flickered to the blood covered woman and those behind her.

"I… Pardon me if I don't exchange pleasantries but considering the circumstances…"

Isolde trailed off as she looked at Teagan again; surely they had been gone too long? Oh if anything happened to Connor because some woman questioned her…

"Please, Isolde. We have no idea what has happened, we need answers," Teagan implored.

"I'm sorry Teagan, but I do not know what is safe to tell. There is a terrible evil within the castle, every night the dead waken and hunt the living. We caught the Mage responsible and yet it continues! And Connor, oh my baby, he has not been the same since it started! We have survived but he refuses to flee, he has seen so much death Teagan!"

Tears ran down Isolde's face as she spoke, even just speaking about the events brought fear into her heart.

"You must come with me Teagan, you are his Uncle. Surely he will listen to you!"

Teagan was about to speak but was cut off again by the woman.

"What about Arl Eamon does he still live?"

What… what would this woman want with her husband…?

"He is… he is being kept alive for now. Thank the Maker"

Teagan did not miss a beat as he quickly asked; "Kept alive? By what Isolde?"

"Something the Mage unleashed. So far it allows Eamon, Connor and I to live but I do not know how long this will last. The others… they were not so fortunate. It killed so many and turned their bodies into walking corpses and when it was done with us, it attacked the village! That is why we must hurry Teagan! It allowed me to come for you Teagan, because I begged and said Connor needed help."

"Could it be a demon?" The woman asked.

"No… surely not. Could it really be a demon?" Isolde asked, hoping the thought would be shot down but when silence met her words, her worst nightmare seemed to become a reality and she became hysterical.

"I can't let it hurt my Connor! Teagan, you must come back with me, please!" She gripped onto his hands.

"Why must Teagan return alone?"

Oh Maker, Isolde thought, why won't the woman just let Teagan go with her?

"Because I promised to return quickly with Teagan, only Teagan! Teagan, I know you could order you men to follow me but I implore you, please don't for Connor's sake!"

Isolde watched as the strange woman discussed something with Teagan before he finally agreed to accompany her to the Castle, hopefully Connor would still be ok.

xox

Isolde watched in horror as her brother-in-law danced for his nephew's entertainment. This was her fault, she brought Teagan here and now he was acting strangely, it had to be a demon that was doing this but... how? Why would that mage do this? What had her family ever done to deserve this?

The sound of fighting captured Isolde's attention as she looked towards the entrance; she watched them approach with sad eyes.

"So these are our visitors. The ones you told me about mother."

That voice… that evil, evil voice coming from her baby's mouth.

"Y-yes Connor."

"This is the one who defeated my soldiers? The ones I sent to reclaim my village?"

The anger was clear in Connor's voice and Isolde shook, fear overcoming the sadness she felt.

"Y-y-yes."

"And now it's staring at me, what is it Mother? I can't see it well enough."

"This… this is a woman, Connor. Just as I am." Isolde struggled to keep her voice level.

"But this woman is nothing like you Mother, just look at her! Half your age and pretty too! I'm surprised you didn't order her executed in a fit of jealousy!"

The mocking tone was clear in the young boy's voice and Isolde flinched with the insults he threw at her.

"Connor, I beg you… don't hurt anyone!"

The boy's eyes flashed and the voice of Connor was heard, untainted by the Demon.

"Mother… what's happening?"

Isolde hugged her son tightly, thinking she had got him back but like previous fits he was not in his right state of mind for long and she was pushed to the floor.

"Grey Warden… please don't hurt my son! He's not in his right mind!"

Isolde looked at the woman who was surveying Conner.

"So, you've been protecting him this entire time?"

"Connor didn't mean to do this! It was the mage, the one who poisoned Eamon! He summoned this demon!"

"Quiet Mother! Now woman, tell us what you've come here for?"

Isolde just stared at her son as the Grey Warden spoke, how could her baby be so cruel? His eyes shone with hatred and his voice sent shivers up her spine.

"…Isn't that right mother?"

"I… I… don't think…" Isolde started but was quickly cut off.

"That's right! You don't! " Connor laughed cruelly as more tears ran down Isolde's face, oh Maker, what has happened to her baby?

Isolde watched in silent horror as a fight quickly broke out while Connor fled to his room. It didn't take the Grey Warden long to have the room under control as Teagan awoke from whatever spell he was under.

"Oh Teagan, thank the Maker you're alright."

"I am fine; my mind is my own again." Despite his reassurances, he sounded weary and pained.

"Blessed Andraste, I don't know what I would've done if you had died after I brought you here!" She kept his hand in her tight grip as the Grey Warden and her companions looked on.

"Please, Connor is not responsible for this. There MUST be a way that we can save him" Isolde's voice wavered at the cold look that the woman was giving her.

"You knew about this all along." The accusation was clear in the Grey Warden's cold voice; she was blaming Isolde for what had happened.

"I... yes, I didn't tell you because I believed we could help him. I still do."

One of the Grey Warden's companions spoke up, a mage, judging from her staff.

"Clearly the child is an abomination. There is only one way to stop it..."

The female Mage trailed off and Isolde could only imagine what she was thinking.

"NO! He is not always the demon you saw, Connor is still inside him and sometimes he breaks through. I just want to protect my son, please!"

Tears poured from Isolde's eyes as Teagan sided with the Grey Warden.

"Isn't that what started this Isolde? You hired the mage to teach Connor in secret... to protect him."

Isolde gulped as she tried to explain her reasoning, knowing now it seemed weak when looking at the consequences.

"If they discovered Connor was a mage, they would have taken him from me! I just wanted him to learn enough to hide it; I never would have thought that the man Loghain sent was meant to poison my husband!"

Isolde wrung her hands as a she sniffled, trying to stop sobs from wracking her body.

"Loghain sent the mage?" The Grey Warden asked.

"Yes, he promised to help keep it a secret. I trusted Loghain, how was I supposed to know that he sent someone to... to..." Isolde trailed off as she broke down again.

Unlike before, she was not allowed to calm down before she was questioned again.

"And Eamon knew nothing of your plans? Do you not realize what you have done Isolde?" Disgust was clear in Teagan's voice as Isolde cringed back.

Why did no one understand? She had to protect her son, even if it meant lying to her husband.

"Eamon would only demand that we do the right thing! I would not lose my son, not to... to magic!"

Anger surged through Isolde's veins as she tried desperately to defend her reasoning. Surely she did what any mother would have done? Would she be blamed for protecting her own son?

"Would that have been so terrible, Lady Isolde?"

"Magic... it runs in my family. Those who had it were terrible, sinful men. I didn't know what to do when I found out, I panicked!"

"And now you may have doomed us all and brought death to your own son!" Teagan spat at his sister-in-law.

"No! No please! There must be another way! A way for Connor to live! Please!" Isolde begged the group in front of her. They were strangers yet they would decide whether her son would live or die!

The leader of the group, the female Grey Warden surveyed Isolde with cold calculating eyes.

"Where is the boy now? Why did he run?"

"I think he ran upstairs... it may sound odd but violence... it scares him. He may have run up to his room or..."

"Or he may be waiting in ambush." The Grey Warden finished.

"No! I... I don't know. The fighting may have scared Connor into coming out again and so he ran."

"So are you saying he may be vulnerable?" Teagan questioned.

"I... perhaps. Is there... is there no other way?" Isolde pleaded with them again.

Ignoring Isolde's pleads the Warden continued; "Where is Arl Eamon?"

"Upstairs in his room. I think the demon has been keeping him alive..." Isolde trailed off.

"So if we destroy the demon then?" Teagan asked.

"Yes, then my husband may perish."

xox

Isolde stood beside Teagan, wringing her hands tightly as the Grey Warden and her companions discussed what they would do with Connor. They seemed to be ignoring her pleas for mercy on her son.

"Are we really going to do this? Kill an innocent child?" The red head asked.

"Leliana I don't like this any more than you do but our main concern is the Blight and for that we need Arl Eamon's help." The Grey Warden ran a hand down her face in exhaustion.

"And for that we must sacrifice his only son" Leliana said bluntly.

"Don't be a fool woman, that is no longer his son but an abomination," the mage stated.

"He is still a child!"

"Leliana that _child_ has slaughtered almost an entire castle and countless villagers by unleashing monsters on them or have you forgotten what we had to fight to get here?"

The red head, Leliana bowed her head realizing that her protests were in vain.

"Then it's settled, we must kill the abomination before anyone else dies."

Isolde gasped in horror and Teagan ran a hand over his weary face.

"So you have decided then."

The Grey Warden nodded at the older man without a hint of sadness on her face.

"Is...Is there no other way? What about the mage Loghain sent? Won't he know of a way to save him?" Isolde's breath quickened as she began to panic once more.

Before the Grey Warden could speak, the mage interrupted.

"The only way to help your son would be to send a mage into the Fade."

"Can't we do that then?" Isolde pleaded.

"It would require Lyrium and a group of Mages, something that we don't have at our disposal."

"You could go to the Circle of Magi! It's only three days by boat! Please anything but killing my baby!" Isolde pleaded.

"I'm sorry Lady Isolde, we cannot take the chance that the demon may kill you all while we are gone. We must deal with it now." The Grey Warden and her companions made their way upstairs while Isolde slid to her knees and sobbed into her hands.

Everything was her fault, if she hadn't lied to Eamon, went behind his back and turned to Loghain. Oh if she hadn't tried to hide Connor's magic, tried to deny it then Eamon wouldn't have been poisoned and Connor wouldn't have made a deal with some cursed demon.

Sounds of fighting drifted down the stairway and Isolde tried to block it out but with every clash of metal, all she could hear were Connor's cries echoing in her mind. All she could see was his face, covered in blood, frozen in a mask of pain.

Suddenly there was silence, all sounds of fighting had stopped and all Isolde could think about was if the Grey Warden had... no, she couldn't have. The demon must've let Connor go, freed him from its grasps, yes that must've been it. It could only have been that.

Stumbling to her feet, Isolde hitched up her dress and ran to the family quarters, hoping and praying to see her baby's smiling face, all traces of demonic malice wiped clean. Opening the door, Isolde's breath caught in her throat. The Grey Warden was standing over her son's body, holding her blade up in preparation for the final blow.

"No! Stop!" Isolde screamed, shielding Connor's body with her own.

"Please have mercy on him, he is just a boy he doesn't deserve this!"

"You would rather the demon keep your family hostage?" The Grey Warden asked coolly.

Isolde's breath caught in her throat as she stuttered. How was she supposed to answer that? He WAS her family, her baby boy and this... this woman wanted to kill him!

"I... No of course not! But this is my _son's_ life, there must be another option. The Circle must know something! Maker help me! There MUST be another way! DON'T KILL MY BABY! I'M BEGGING YOU!" Isolde's body shook with sobs as she hunched over the body of her only child.

"There may not be time for another option," The Grey Warden reasoned.

Why must this woman be so damn reasonable? Isolde knew deep down that she was right but her heart refused to admit it. Her heart and soul refused to give up on her son.

"We... we don't know that. You... you defeated the demon's creatures. It might even go away on it's on!" Isolde said, looking around at the scorch marks on the floor and the rotting corpses that had recently been slain.

Seeing no change on the Grey Warden's face she tried another tactic.

"You... you're a woman. What if this was your son? Please don't tell me you wouldn't move the mountains to save him!"

Isolde clearly struck a chord as the woman lowered her head before she spoke.

"Please don't make this any harder than it already is Lady Isolde."

"You're just like Teagan, standing there grim-faced and telling me my son has to die. It doesn't have to be like this. I am the ARLESSA and I ORDER you to stop!" Isolde's voice rose towards the armed woman and she stared at her with a fierce determination.

"All right, I'm stopping. You win." The Grey Warden sheathed her blade and took a step back from Connor and Isolde.

"Thank you! Oh thank you!" Isolde sat Connor up slightly as she spoke to him.

"Connor... Connor can you hear me? It's Mother," Isolde pushed a strand of the boys hair out of his face as he began to stir and allowed a small smile on her face.

"M-m-mother... I... it hurts!" Connor whimpered in pain and Isolde pulled her child closer to her.

"Sh sh sh, it's alright darling. We'll find a way to stop the demon."

Tears ran down Isolde's cheeks and Connor convulsed, clearly in pain.

"Fool woman! If I crushed Father's throat, would you watch? Would you cry? You are pathetic!"

Isolde gasped as Connor said those words, looking straight into her eyes with a sadistic smile on his young face.

"No, no! Don't talk like that! Connor come back! Please don't go!" Isolde held Connor closer to her as he whimpered again.

"I'm sorry I called her Mother, it hurts! Make it stop, please make it stop!"

"I will baby, I will. I'll make the pain go away" Isolde choked out.

Looking up at the Grey Warden, Isolde spoke to the woman quietly.

"Please, leave me alone with him. You were... right, it can't be helped."

"You don't have to do this, Lady Isolde." Pity laced the younger woman's voice and Isolde almost laughed. Now she was showing pity?

"You... you are just a stranger. I am his mother; I brought Connor into this world. Let me do what must be done."

The Grey Warden kneeled down before the Mother and Son and placed a small dagger beside Isolde before quickly leaving the room with her companions.

"Ah! Mother it hurts!" Connor cried out.

Shushing her child, Isolde started humming an Orlesian lullaby she sang to him when he was a child. As Connor drifted in and out of consciousness, Isolde picked up the small blade and with silent tears streaming down her cheeks done the one thing a mother should never have to do to their child.

xox

Isolde didn't utter a word as she passed the Grey Warden and her companions, she didn't speak when Teagan wrapped his arms around her in comfort. She didn't speak when Connor's body was placed in a boat.

She only whispered; "May Andraste have mercy on his soul" when a flaming arrow struck her son's boat.

Never before had Isolde felt so numb, her son was dead by her hand. Eamon hadn't recovered from the poison and the Grey Warden was still here, discussing plans with Teagan. Of course, they all offered their condolences but none of them could quite look Isolde in the eye. As if they knew what she was going through but of course, no one could ever understand a mother's torment.

* * *

><p><strong>Hi there! Yes interesting one shot, I know. It took me a fair while to write this because inspiration kept coming and going but I've finally finished! The idea of writing this came to me after I realised how hated Isolde was but really if anything all she wanted to do was protect her son and keep him beside her. Obviously she didn't go about it the right way but still. Feedback would be nice and stuff but of course I hope you enjoyed it! :)<strong>


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